Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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