who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
