Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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