If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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