the condom got lost in my hair
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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