i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
