so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
