we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
