I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
