you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
