I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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