hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
