Got a toothbrush?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
