please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
