I am puke
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
