i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
