do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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