return my video game
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
