i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
