No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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