Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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