all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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