I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
