he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
