If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize