could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
