remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We don't watch enough power rangers
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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