why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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