So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
