Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
