It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
