fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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