I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize