brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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