i think my mom watched the whole time
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
