Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
