If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
