everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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