Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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