On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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