well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
