a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
