maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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