Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ugly people sure do ruin things
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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