Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
