Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i dont even know how to be here
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
