Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
