There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
