all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
