Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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