i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I should be sponsored by Trojan
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
