I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
