with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
