woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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