why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
