Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
