it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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