He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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