Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
