You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
